I Love New York 2 Episode 9 Recap

The show opens with shots of the dirty house. The guys are summoned by Big Ant and told that they must clean for some very special guests...those guests being their parents.

The Entertainer

He is cleaning as his mother and father arrive. When his mom and dad meet New York his mom asks, "Am I meeting my future daughter-in-law?" New York laughs and they share a handshake and cheek kiss. The Entertainer warns them that New York's mom, Sister Paterson, is a tough fuc*ing cookie.

Tailor Made

His dad arrives and seems like a pretty docile fella. He says that Tailor Made is a father and a role model for all fathers.

Punk

His sister and mother come. New York says that he must have gotten all the looks in the family. I respectfully agree but damn New York...didn't talkin' about folks family members lose you a shot at love with Tango? Pipe down! Anyway Punk's mom reveals that she has never wanted him there and questions his judgement about finding love that way.

Buddha

His dad comes and New York thinks he's hot. But as she exhales a lung full of smoke he says, "Why would a beautiful black woman like you smoke so much?" New York tells him it calms her down and he proceeds to tell her it will rob her of her beauty. She definitely doesn't like this and suddenly doesn't think he's all that hot anymore.

Dinner

New York and Sister Patterson go to dinner with The Entertainer and his parents as well as Punk and his mother and sister. The Entertainer's mom tells sister Paterson that she doesn't think it's any of hers or SP's business to get involved in their children's relationships. SP doesn't like this and they get into it. Then New York jumps in cursin' and hollerin' and the situation is momentarily diffused with SP and NY going outside for a New Port break. (Total side note: I friggin' love The Entertainer's mom. I bet if left to her own devices she'd claw out SP's eyes with her acrylic nails and mace her with the bottle of Jean Nate perfume I'm SURE she has in her purse.) The Entertainer is in the bathroom this whole time and after hearing what happens tries to go and clear the air. He's totally shut down by SP and NY. When they return silence abounds. Then SP starts stirrin' the pot and compliments The Entertainers dad until The Entertainer's mom cant take it any more and bites back.

She says, "You're full of sh!t" and calls SP a tranny. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

NY and SP exit while Punk and his family sit there stunned and silent. I think all of this excitement has sent Punks mom into some type of catatonic state.

In the morning Punks mom tells Tailor Made's dad about the previous evening. She has never dealt with someone so loud and vulgar. Meanwhile The Entertainer's dad encourages him to leave the house while his mom tries her best to play nice with New York

The Pool Party

New York invites Tailor Made and his dad and Buddha and his dad to meet her and SP by the pool. Tailor Made's dad asks if Sister Paterson is New York's sister and not her mom. She of course drinks this up. New York takes the guys to the pool and leaves the parents to talk. SP informs Buddha's dad Mike that his son beat up Tailor Made. He takes what she says and retorts that he would like to hear Tailor Made's side. She thinks he's calling her a liar and continues her tail of how there was blood gushing from Tailor Made's face and his nose was busted up and swollen. Buddha is listening to these lies and confronts her. There's a big blow up and New York takes her mom's side even though she knows her mom is lying. At some point Tailor Made compares SP's statements to hyperbole...I would just like to say that I haven't heard that word since 10th grade. Anyway, New York says that Buddha is jealous, evil and angry. He walks off with her following. They have YET ANOTHER talk but nothing is resolved.

Dinner With Everyone

The Entertainer's mom promises him she'll shut up. Punks mom tells him that she wasn't feeling what was going on at dinner the previous night. Buddha and his dad (who apparently are the same person) try to figure out Buddha's next step.

New York cooks for everyone. Yes, I said it. NEW YORK COOKS! The Entertainer comes down to give her a hand and while their in the kitchen 'heating things up' Buddha walks in. He sulks out and New York follows. When she tries to talk to him he isn't having it. He feels like she threw him under the bus and she says that she can't disrespect her mom even if she's wrong.

At dinner no one is talking so New York tries to start up a convo. She asks Buddha's dad Mike how he likes dinner. He says, "It's...interesting." She asks Tailor Made's dad why she's good for him. He tells her how sincere Tailor Made is and how he's looking for someone to fall in love with and he can see what Tailor Made sees in NY. He doesn't have enough good things to say about his son. She then asks The Entertainer's parents about how much they do for him. His mom does his laundry and cooks and a host of other things one might do for a deadbeat grown ass man living at home. The Entertainer says that he does the ironing, walks the dog, feeds the bird, takes out the garbage, etc...It sounds like the chores of a 13-year-old boy. Is he earning an allowance to save up for a new bike or something?

Needless to say NY isn't feeling this at all.

Elimination

Punk is a lawyer, no? He can't spring for a few new outfits for mom and sis from Khols? But I digress.

Who's In?

Tailor Made

Punk

When she gives him his chain she says that she has butterflies and bubble guts. Ma'am! Inappropriate! His mom at least smiles when he gets pick...maybe she will one day actually accept New York

Buddha

When she asks if he has love for her and if he'll accept the chain he says "I do what I do." What does that even mean? Lo's answer: Heifer I don't even like you but I'll do what I do to get some more camera time.

Who's Out?

The Entertainer

Though he makes her laugh she doesn't see it working out. "I need a man who can support me and check me. With all due respect to you and your parents, you are a loser!". Ha!

Next Week:

New York takes the three remaining guys to Miami. Damn, VH1 can't afford a place a little more exotic and romantic. Ah well, maybe they'll hit up Wet Willy's for some drinks. Lo recommends getting a "Call The Cab". Best drink EVER!