Real Chance of Love: Season Finale Recap

The final four girls, Chance, and Real arrive in Puerto Rico. I think it’s funny that Cali keeps referring to Chance as her boyfriend even though he’s been kissin on like 14 other girls for weeks. She’s also wearing Uggs…she must not be aware that she’s on a tropical island. i.e. IT’S HOT YOU SIMPLE HEIFER! PUT ON SOME FLIP FLOPS!

Dinner:
Chance wants to see what Cali has to offer besides the physical and he wants to see Risky’s more romantic side. Real wants to see more of a physical connection with BayBayBay and he wants to know if Corn Fed can deal with the big life of LA.
They ask each set of girls what they think of the other set. Corn Fed would pick Cali for Chance because she understands his lifestyle. BayBayBay picks Risky for Chance because she feels Risky will balance him out. Cali picks Corn Fed for Real because she sees a love connection. Risky picks Corn Fed too. This sets BayBayBay off and she starts crying (she looks insane). Chance says that Corn Fed’s love is not as strong as BayBayBay’s. Corn fed gets mad and says that she doesn’t think its fair that because BayBayBay is a better fighter that she should win Real’s heart.

Date One:
Cali and BayBayBay meet up with the boys for some horseback riding. Cali of course has on a mini dress, and I’m hoping at least a thong. All I know is that her ass is gonna hurt and that saddle is gonna stink. ILK!
They get off the horses to have some lunch. I can see the humidity is affecting real’s pocahantas do. Anyway, he asks BayBayBay how she feels about what Corn Fed said. Once she starts her 8 hour monologue he just lets her ramble.
Real and Chance feel like Cali and Risky are too close and Chance doesn’t know who to choose. Scared that her friendship with Risky will ruin her chances with Chance. She starts putting down Risky and calling out her flaws. She tells Chance that girls like Risky are a dime a dozen. She knows a bunch of girls just like her. She thinks that Risky has a guard up and Chance only started noticing her when she got the tattoo. But that she (Cali) started showing her emotions from the start. He halts her talking so they can go swim. He has the body of a twelve year old boy.
The girls get back and BayBayBay starts gloating to make Corn Fed jealous. It’s working. While they’re getting ready for dinner BayBayBay tells Risky about what Cali said at lunch. Risky decides to keep that info in her pocket until she has her solo date.
BayBayBay and Cali go to dinner with the boys at a nice restaurant. For this very special occasion, Real is wearing gold shirtless sleeves.
Chance is talking to Cali and he wants to see the real her so she tells him how she’s felt abandoned her whole life. He of course starts crying.
Real asks BayBayBay what love means to her. She tells him her take on it as she bangs on the table and pokes the hell out of it. He asks what she thinks about him then listens to her blow his head up.
They girls go back to the rooms with the guys. Cali gets to take off her heels. Thank god cus they look like they REALLY hurt. They’re kissy, kissy under the covers. I’m sure they do it. Actually they’ve probably beeen shagging for weeks.
Real and BayBayBay play this cat and dog game where he’s barking…I don’t know what’s going on. They start to do it…she cant even shut up then. SHHHHH!
The next morning BayBayBay goes back to the room to rub it in Corn Feds face. Risky confronts Cali about what she said. She let’s her know that it’s basically war.

Date Two:
Corn Fed and Risky meet the boys on a yacht. Risky immediately tells Chance that she talked to Cali about what she said and calls it to his attention to the fact that if Cali is disloyal to her then she can be disloyal to him. Meanwhile Real is seasick and ends up puking.
They stop at a private island and its swimming time but Risky can’t swim. She gives it a try but ends up almost drowning. Yet and still they’re having a good time.
Corn fed is scared that Real and BayBayBay have taken it to another level and that he’s not feeling her as much anymore. Real doesn’t want Corn Fed to run from arguments or tough times with him, like she does with BayBayBay.
When they get back Cali asks Corn Fed if Chance asked about her. She has to tell her unfortunately no.
It’s dinner time, and Corn Fed wants to know what Real feels about her. He says he wants someone like his mother and she’s the one who has come closest to that. She tells him he makes her feel like no one else has and she’s falling in love with him.
She starts to cry and they kiss.
Risky asks Chance what he wants. And he says he wants a strong woman a real woman like his mom. She tells him her whole background and lets him know why she always so guarded.
It’s boom boom room time! Corn Fed goes back to Real’s room which is filled with candles and rose petals. He of course hands her the business.
Meanwhile, in Chance’s room Risky smells the sheets to make sure they’re not from the night before. Then they lie in bed and…watch TV?
Corn Fed wakes up feeling “amazing”. When they get back because Corn Fed isn’t saying a lot so BayBayBay thinks the date didn’t go so well.

Elimination:
Chance goes first. He tells Cali that they had an instant connection and she’s down for him. Risky started off slow but he feels like she made head way in the past few weeks. She had his back, she comforted him, she’s down for him as well.
He’s crying again. Who’s it gonna be?
He tells Risky he’s not falling in love with her an asks for some love. She obliges and says that they’ll continue to be friends.
Bye Ebony “Risky”! He continues to cry after sending off Risky. And he tells Cali he’s not in love with her either so he’s not going to choose her.
He asks her for some love and she says no. Good move. Screw him!
Bye Christine “Cali”!
What a waste of time.

Real tells Corn Fed that although she’s sweet and wonderful he’s scared that she won’t be able to handle LA or his family or lifestyle.
He tells BayBayBay that she’s like a super woman and any man would want her. But he came here to feel fireworks. He didn’t feel them with her.
Bye Konaga “Bay, Bay, Bay”!! Wait? Konaga?

The sole winner, if you wanna call it that, is Abbi “Corn Fed”!!!!
Thank you Chance & Real, or the writers, or programming, or whomever is responsible for me wasting two months of my time…thanks a lot!

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