Dis $hit Right Here!

So the sheriff’s dept. of Collier County, Florida has released a bulletin warning parents about a new drug the kids are into. It’s called “Jenkem”. Supposedly it gives you hallucinations and gets you high as a kite. Here’s the catch: It tastes like $hit…like actual $hit…no really.
It’s made out of waste found in the sewers. Kids are bottling it and letting it ferment for a few days. It eventually develops a gas that they put in a balloon and inhale. They say the aftertaste, which if I didn’t already tell you is…$hit, sticks around for days. The street names include butthash, runners or wase.
Um!!!! WHAT?! Like for real, for real these dumb a$$ kids are huffing dookie?! Ilk!! Lo has a few questions:
1. Who was the Mr. Wizard who figured out that you could get high by sniffing butt pebbles?
2. Does it have to be from the sewer? I mean I’m not saying its ok but why don’t they just crap in the bottle? Wouldn’t that be easier?
3. Where are they storing the bottles while the poop stews? Under the bed? In the garage? Where?
4. What happened to good old crack? I mean I know $hit is free but damn, splurge a little!
Aye, Aye Aye! Excuse me, but I’ve got a raging migraine and need to rest.