Video of the Day

What in the jazz hands, neck swirvin', pelvic thrusts is this tomfoolery?! Wait, let me back up for a sec and explain myself. I found this video while searching for a Jeffrey Osbourne song. Don't ask...just blame it on Mr. Poole. Anyway, I saw 'Phillip Michael Thomas Music Vid' and was intrigued. I'm not sure what the song is about because halfway through the lasers sent me into a violent seizure.
I have a few questions:
1. was there no AC on the set because PMT can't seem to keep his shirt on...and he's sweatin' like a fat kid.
2. Is his third eye all knowing?
3. WTF is with that chick being pregnant with his amputated head?! He must be Haitian cus there is some voodoo ish goin on up in there!
Rico Tubbs just stole my thunder...and my will to live. I can't BREEEEEEAAAAATHE!!

Sighs, so for good measure I've included his partner's big hit.

Just a few points:

I'm going to need Don to relax his shoulders...he's making me tense. Also, even though its 22 years later and we've all had a chance to ready ourselves for the shear beauty that is Don Johnson, I still feel like we're not prepared for the gritty emotion seeping from his dimples.