Hurry! Hide the Children in the Storm Cellar!

Cus there is yet another rap doll. 4Cast Limited has created a Ghostface Killah Doll. They say they wanted to create something timeless and classic. The doll (which retails for $499…yes, that’s right, $499) has 14K gold bling, comes with a mixtape of 36 of his greatest hits, and even talks. It says things like:
"I put it in em shot up in em deadly venom."
"Ghostface, Ghostface"
"Remember when I longed d---ed you and broke your ovary."
"Yo bitch I f---ed your friend. Yea, you stank ho."
Why?! Whyyyyyyyy?! I don’t understand why people keep making these rapper dolls. They don’t sell and often times they’re scary as hell. Please see Exhibits A, B, C and D.

A. The Master P Doll (His one and only catch phrase is “UUUUGGGGHHHH!”)

B. The Snoop Dogg Doll (his accessories include a pimp cane, a blunt, and gang regalia)

C. The Biggie Smalls Doll (what kinda doll is cock eyed?)
D. The Jay-Z Doll (both offensive and hilarious and offensive)
I’m starting to believe that this Ghostface doll is somehow possessed because I suddenly have the urge to practice my hype man moves in front of the mirror while blasting “Cherchez LaGhost”.
(Lo, who suddenly has no control over her body, races off to the mirror to practice her jail stance while throwing up gang signs and shouting things like “What?!”, “Now wave ya hands in da air!” and “Everybody say ‘Ho’!”)