I Love New York 2 Reunion Recap

Hey there friends. I'm bringing you the last recap post for a while. And by 'a while' I mean until Flavor of Love 3 premiers in February. OK, so last night was the I Love New York 2 Reunion. New York entered the studio looking like a cross between a stripper, an ice skater, and a Vegas showgirl. Ergo there was lots of sparkle and LOTS of stank. Her girdle and her extra poundage was easily seen through her sheer dress. She also felt the need to couple thigh high stockings with knee high boots. Interesting...

The first guy to come up on stage was 'IT'. There was a montage of his weird behavior including talking to an imaginary person on a cellphone (and by cell phone I mean his hand). He brings a bag of bricks on stage which he proceeds to break with his hands to show how strong he is. He wants to prove that New York should have picked a guy that could take care of her not Tailor Made's scrawny butt. After breaking the bricks he presents her with a box and gives a speech about never having eaten fried chicken and french fries on a project bench with her. Does he have friend chicken and french fries in the box? Nope, just the fries. He ate the chicken already. New York throws them at him. He throws them back...landing a few in that heaving bosom of hers.

Next up is Champion. If y'all remember he was the "Mama's Boy" who left in the first episode on the arm of Sister Paterson. When he walks up on stage (Sister Paterson is already there btw) he grabs her up and kisses her...on the mouth...WITH TONGUE!!!!! Sheri and I (Sheri came over to watch with me) scream and dry heave in horror. When we uncover our eyes they are STILL kissing! Blech! New York runs off stage in terror but returns to make it clear to Champion that he will NEVER be a part of their family. Sister Paterson reveals that her husband (that scraggly dude we saw during the first season of Flavor of Love) is the past and Champion is the future. I was wondering what happened to him.

Midget Mac takes the stage next. Through his grill covered teeth he tells us that he's become an inspiration of sorts to little people everywhere (please insert sarcastic "Awwwww" at will). Sister Paterson says that she had a hard time accepting him because he was a shock to her since she had never seen a little person before. Understandable...I mean I wouldn't have been shocked, but I would have been horrified..

When Wolf comes up he's given the opportunity to prove to Sister Paterson that he does indeed have a big dick...his words...not mine. They go behind this old timey medical screen and he's dancing...and rapping i think, while unbuckling his pants. But he doesn't whip it out cus he says he only pulls it out when he's gonna put it down on someone (Lo wonders: well what does he do when he has to pee, or shower?). So yea, the whole thing was pointless cus none of us get to find out if he's got a ding-a-ling or a dong-a-long (thanks for the term Brewer).

Next cameras take a trip home with the Entertainer so we can see his basement living quarters and to further demonstrate what a loser he is. At the studio his parents and Sister Paterson get into it again. This results in New York pulling her all time famous move of lifting up her dress and showing her tail to everyone. But instead this time she adds a twist. She turns around and pulls up her dress in the front to flash a lil vag to the crowd. Thanks Tiffany, we needed that.

Yes...that's a belt in her hand.

Punk and Buddha hit the stage. They're both wearing jackets with some type of decals on them. It's like they went on a shopping spree at Against All Odds. I'm loving Punk's haircut. There's a lot less spit curl action which I find exciting. I found out later that he had a hat to match his blazer...resulting in a deduction of cool points. Anyway, he and Buddha try to gang up on New York but she basically shuts it down by saying that all though she's loved all of them she picked the guy that was right for her lifestyle. Pretty begins talking from the audience about something. I don't know exactly what because I don't care. While he's flappin' his gums Millione (a dude who left in the first episode) starts making limp wrist gestures insinuating Pretty is gay. Buddha and Punk come to Pretty's defense and Millione says that any dude who defends another dude makes himself look fruity. Buddha takes of his decal jacket to flex his muscles a bit and act like he's gonna fight. I'm glad to see the jacket go...its ugly and tacky as hell, and well I'm glad to see the muscles...now if only we could get Buddha to SHUT UP!

When Tailor Made gets on stage we are privy to some never before seen footage that reveals on the first night they were in the house Tailor Made spit on It's chain...then came back and spit on the other side. Apparently this is his thing. Lala discusses with him and Mr. Wise the infamous spitting incident that went down between the two of them. Mr. Wise alludes to being a bigger person but we can see the fire brewing in his eyes. somethings about to happen. Then, just as soon as Lala turns to talk about something else, BAM!

Mr. Wise is airborne. He went Chuck Norris all over dat ass. Anyway, after what looks like a few kicks to the face security is able to successfully break them up and we go on with the show. New York comes back to the stage and we find out that she and Tailor Made have been living together since the show wrapped even though this violates the show's confidentiality clauses...or something like that. He then presents her with his signed divorce papers and asks her to marry him. After some though she says, "Life is short. Yea! I want it!" He picks her up (with some effort) and carries her off into the sunset.

Ah, fun times all around. I'll catch you some time in February for recaps of Flavor of Love 3. Until next time...congratulate the HBIC on finding love.