Grammy Awards 2009

I missed the red carpet cus I was eating, and finishing my hair and working on other Mani posts and watching Sister Act II…what? It’s a damn good movie. Anyhow, I tried to do a live blog but then my computer decided to act a fool. Thus, why I’m posting today. Please forgive any spelling/grammatical errors as I'm editing this loooong post on my lunch break before I rush back into the fields to pick some more cotton.

I’d like to note that all of my pics are via mtvnews.com. Ok, on with the show!

U2 open the show with “Put your Boots On.”

I have nothing more to say besides I really hate Bono.

Whitney presents Best R&B Album. Sidebar…she sounds REALLY off.
Eric benet-Love & Life
Boyz II Men: Mothown-A Journey Through Hitsville USA
Al Green-Lay it Down
Jennifer Hudson-Jennifer Hudson
Raphael Saadiq-The Way I See It

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, uncomfortably rambles through the show’s horrible writing, only to introduce JT who does the same. JT then introduces and joins Al Green, Boyz II Men and Keith Urban on stage to perform “Let’s Stay Together”. It’s a falsetto mess.
Simon baker introduces Coldplay to perform “Lost.”
But its only Chris Martin for half the song then Jay-Z walks up to add his rap..then back to Chris. Where’s the rest of the band? Oh wait, here they are. Chris joins them to perform “Viva la Vida.”
They have on these bright colored jackets…they look like a pack of tropical skittles. Watching Chris dance makes me nervous. I feel like he’s going to hurt himself or someone else.

Carrie Underwood performs. Brewer and Jordan are wondering if they’re going to give out anymore awards…it is an awards show afterall.

I’m peeping Carrie’s legs and doing squats and lunges in admiriation.

Cheryl Crow and Leanne Rhymes come to present the Best Country Duo or Group Performance.
Brooks and Dunn-God Must be Busy
Lady Antebellum-Love Don’t Live Here
Rascal Flatts-Everyaday
The Steel Drivers-Blue Side of the Mountain
Sugarland-Stay

Duffy and Al Green present Song of the Year.
American boy
Chasing Pavements
I’m Yours
Love Song
Viva La vida

Kid Rock performs “All Summer Long.”

Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus perform “Fifteen.” Taylor sounds ok but Miley…I guess I’ve never heard her sing before and I’ve got to say her singing voice is as annoying as her speaking voice.

Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals (I don’t know who presented…I had to potty)
Alicia Keys John Mayer-Lesson Learned
Madona, Justin Timberlake & Timbaland-4 minutes
Robert Plant Alison krauss-Rich Woman
Rihanna & Maroon 5-If I Never See Your Face Again
Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown-No Air

Jennifer Hudson performs “You Pulled me Through”

She makes it all the way to the end of the song before she gets teary. God bless her for getting out of bed everyday. I don’t think I’d have the strength.

Emily Proctor and Jason Mraz introduce Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder performing “Burnin’ Up”.
The one with the straight hair is doing this awkward dance, hip thrust, gyrate thing. I’m concerned. I also feel dirty.
Stevie jumps in to sing a verse. I’m deeply saddened that an American legend has to sing back up for these snot nose pip squeaks. It’s Stevie’s turn to sing “Superstiscious”. For some reason the children are allowed to sing along. This is not ok. Lo says no thank you.

Blink 182 announces they’re reuniting before presenting the award for Best Rock Album. Coldplay-Viva la Vida
Kid Rock-Rock N Roll Jesus
Kings of Leon-Only by the Night
Matallica-Death Magnetic
The Recontours-Consolers of the Lonely

Craig Ferguson introduces Katy Perry who performs “I Kissed a Girl”. She comes down on stage in a giant banana. There are other giant fruits all over the stage and she’s dressed like Chiquita banana herself. Her back up dancers, who I’m assuming she picked up at a community talent show, are dressed in white pant suits and hats. As Katy jumps all over the stage, slipping a few times (thank god for flats), her dancers are stripping.
Goodbye hats!
Goodbye jackets!
When will they take off their pants? When do the shirts come off? SHOW US YOUR TITS! Sorry I’m bored. It’s finally over. Praise Jah!

Kanye and Estelle perform “American Boy” next. They look like extras from The Wiz. Black people shouldn’t wear too many shiny things or bright colors. A wise woman once said, “Bright colors are for children and whores!”
Anyway, when they’re done, they present the award for Best New Artist. Kanye makes sure to let people know that neither he nor Estelle won the award.
Adele
Duffy
Jonas Brothers
Lady Antebellum
Jazmine Sullivan

Morgan Freeman introduces Kenny Chesney. I don’t know what he sang…I took this opportunity to grab a few more dumplings to munch on.

Diddy, Herbie Hancock and Natalie Cole present Record of the Year.
Adele-Chasing Pavements
Coldplay-Viva la Vida
Leona Lewis-Bleeding Love
M.I.A.-Paper Planes
Robert Plant Alison Krause-Please Read this Letter

Queen Latifah introduces Jay-Z, Kanye West, T.I. and Lil’ Wayne featuring M.I.A performing “Swagga Like Us.” Yes, M.I.A. actually showed up even though she’s due today. And she’s wearing a very M.I.A. outfit…I think I see the baby waving from in between her legs.
It’s hard to pay attention to anyone on stage because I’m mystified by her energy…the mere fact that she’s even standing up amazes me.

Kate Beckensale introduces Dave Grohl and Paul McCartney who perform “I Saw Her Standing There.”

Jack Black and someone present Best Male Pop Vocal Performance.
Kid rock-All Summer Long
John Mayer-Stay
Paul McCartney-That Was Me
Jason Mraz-I’m Yours
Neyo-Closer
James Taylor-Wichita Linamn

Jay Mohr and LL Cool J introduce Sugarland who perform “Stay” and Adele who performs “Chasing Pavements.” Me love Adele…and I’ve never heard of Sugarland, nor do I particularly like country, but they were pretty good.

Gwenyth Paltrow introduces Radiohead performing “15 Steps” I believe the lead singer is having a seizure…but I must say I enjoyed every bit of his epileptic fit.

Samuel L. Jackson introduces T.I. and Justin Timberlake who perform “Dead and Gone.”
The Recording Academy prez, Neil Portnow comes out and talks about God know’s what for way too long. Then he introduces Smokey Robinson who present the Lifetime Achievement Award to the Four Tops. The sole remaining member, Duke Fakir, performs with Smokey, Neyo and Jamie Foxx. They do a medley of “Reach Out”, “Standing in the Shadows of Love” and “Sugar Pie Honey Bunch”. Loved every bit of it!

Josh Grobin introduces Neil Diamond. There’s something about this dude I love. I bet he still has the power to make panties fall to the ground. Not mine of course…but someone’s.

Time for the rest in peace montage. The last person to be recognized is Bo Diddley and on stage is B.B. King, John Mayer, Keith Urban and another gentleman whom I don’t know. They all perform a Bo Diddley Song.

Lil Wayne feat. Robin Thicke perform “Tie My Hands.”

Wayne introduces zydeco/jazz artists Allan Toussant, the Dirty Dozen and Terrence Blanchard. Makes me want to go visit daddy for Mardi Gras. Well technically I wouldn’t be visiting the GRD…I’d be engaging in debauchery all over the French Quarter. But I’m sure I’d at least call or something.

will.i.am and T-Pain present the award for Best Rap Album
Jay-z American Gangster
Lil’ Wayne-Tha Carter III
Lupe Fiasco-The Cool
Nas-Nas
T.I.-Paper Trail
Wayne brings his whole family up on stage but at least he keeps it short and simple.

Zooey Deshenel introduces Robert Plant and Alison Krause who perform “Rich Woman.”

Green Day present Album of the Year
Coldplay-Viva la Vida
Lil Wayne-Tha Carter III
Neyo-Year of the Gentleman
Robert Plant and Alison Krause-Raising Sand
Radiohead-In Rainbows

Maybe if I’d ever heard of this album I’d be more excited. Robert Plan drones on so long they start playing the music on him.
The closing performance is Stevie Wonder. And this time (thankfully) those dreadful little boys aren’t with him.
Well congrats to all the winners.

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