DMX Coming to a Pulpit Near You

Our beloved child of god, DMX, has been released from prison and his plans are to appear on a TV show. No, he won’t be on Celebrity Rehab like we thought before. Instead he’ll have his own religious show.
He says, "I'm gonna start a TV show called Pain and Perseverance, it's about how I can reach people that the average person can't reach because I'm grounded."I'm going to give my first sermon in the church. That's going to be incredible for me and hopefully the congregation of that church." Source
Um, Jesus, can I have a quick sidebar with you Lord? (kneels land clasps palms together) Thank you. I’m sure you’ve already instructed your legions of angels to handle this poor lost soul. But just for my own peace mind and heart can you send me down a sign letting me know this won’t actually happen?
(Fire sulfur and doggie treats hail down from the sky…all is right with the world.)
Ahhhhmeeeen!

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