He's Cruisin' straight to Crazyland

Don’t look directly into his gaze!!!

Anyway, videos came out this week of Tom Cruise at his craziest. Someone stole tapes of Tommy boy accepting an award from the Scientologists and also babbling on for ten minutes about Scientology. I know most of you have heard this craziness already but for those of you who haven’t heard it I decided to hit you with the transcripts. Why the transcripts and not the actual video? Because I care about the fate of your souls! I started watching it and suddenly thought, “Oh my God! What if there are subliminal messages in here and I’ve already sold my soul to Xeno?! Great honorable Xenu! L. Ron Hubbard come justify my love!” And that’s when I pulled myself back. It took four hours of Chinese water torture and scripture reading to get that crap outta my head. So yea, here goes…

"I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist, and it’s something that you have to earn because a Scientologist does... has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions. Being a Scientologist, you look at someone and know absolutely that you can help them.

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.

"But that’s what drives me... I know that we have an opportunity to really help... effectively change people’s lives and I am dedicated to that. I am absolutely, uncompromisingly dedicated to that."We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions... we can rehabilitate criminals.

"Traveling the world and meeting the people that I’ve met, talking with these leaders in various fields, they want help and they are depending on people who know and who can be effective and do it and that’s us. That is our responsibility to do that.

"It is the time now. Now is the time... Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help.

"So it’s our responsibility to educate, create the new reality. We have that responsibility to say, 'Hey, this is the way it should be done because we do it this way and people are actually getting better.'

"And let’s get it done. Let’s really get it done and have enough love and compassion and toughness that you’re really going to do it and do it right.

"I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and wooly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast, it really is fun because, dammit, there is nothing better than the going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see things are better.

"I want to know that I’ve done everything I could everyday, and I think about those people out there who are depending on us. I think about that and it does make me feel that we’ve got more work. I need more help, get those spectators either in the playing field or out of the arena. Really, that’s how I feel about it.

"I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything. [laughs] There’s nothing part-of-the way for me." Source

Now that you’ve read that make sure you go skinny dipping in some holy water then bow to the east, pray five times, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around cus you needs some serious mojo to free yourself from his mystical hold.

(Thanks for the info Brewer and Sheri!)