Flavor of Love 3: Episode 9 Recap

The show opens with Hotlanta receiving a call from home. She’s told that she received an eviction notice and has until the 27th to get out of her apartment. She says “This isn’t me!” and then says that she hasn’t gotten an eviction notice in ten years…so I guess it IS you.

Competition: Here Comes the Bride
There are three teams. Each team has a bride, a maid of honor, and a bridesmaid. They must write the bride’s vows, Flav’s vows, and a rebuttal to one of the other teams. They have one hour to prepare. With only ten minutes left to their preparation Hotlanta is drankin’. Black-Luscious D-Prototype
Black is the bride. She looks the best of the three brides in my opinion. I don’t recall her vows or what she had Flav read but I think the sentiments were sweet and simple. Tree stands up to object, and following the advice of Seezinz and Hotlanta (her teammates) she goes the dramatic route. But and however, the professed actress just ends up sounding crazy. It’s like some weird combination of a church lady, a hillbilly, and Norma Desmond (thanks Poole). Flav thinks she’s drunk.

Hotlanta-Seezinz-Tree
Hotlanta is the bride. She walks up and is breathily giggling in Flav’s face. He immediately smells the liquor on her breath. She drunkenly makes it through her vows when Sinceer objects. She says that Hotlanta has no back bone and no body. Flav needs classy not trashy. She can’t provide a stable environment for herself or her children never mind a man (She overheard Hotlanta’s phone conversation about getting evicted). Ending statement: You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.
Hotlanta is hoping Flav will step in to defend her. But all he can say is, “WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW!”

Stick Thing-Round Thing-Sinceer
Stick Thing is the bride. She calls him William Drake instead of William Drayton. He corrects her and they move on. At some point she calls him the “love of my life. The king of my cass-sow.” (We really need to get this girl into speech therapy.) Prototype objects and since she doesn’t know any dirt on Stick Thing she states the obvious. Flav shouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t even know his last name, who’s toenails are wrecked, and who wears inappropriate undergarments with gowns. Flav doesn’t seem to care about any of that and kisses her anyway. Winners?
Stick Thing, Round Thing, and Sinceer
It’s not over yet. Now the three ladies must compete against each other to win a solo date.

Competition: Dearly Departed
The ladies go inside and don black dresses to prepare for the funeral of Flavor Flav. Things and Sinceer must write eulogies to give at the funeral.
Round Thing-While she’s talking about celebrating his life Flav, who’s lying in the casket, pulls out a burger and starts munchin’ on it. It pretty much goes downhill from there with the hysterical laughter. The gist of her eulogy: Let’s celebrate Flav’s life…he was a great man and a great father
Stick thing-She talks mostly about his career and the history of Flavor Flav, the artist.
Sinceer-She gets up there and starts crying (tears and errythang). She talks about how he’s empowered her throughout her life and empowered other black people through his music. Once it’s all said and done Flav opens his eyes, rises from the casket and announces Sinceer as the winner.
After the competition Flav tells the old girls that they’ll now have the chance to give one of the new girls immunity so they should get to know them better. They conduct interviews but before that can go down Hotlanta needs to get her wine.
Prototype-She works as a manager at Men’s Warehouse and is also a Miller Lite model. The girls think she’s just there to gain exposure. Black-They ask her if she’s white and she says “yes” after a sigh. They want to know how her parents will feel about her dating Flav but she tells them her son is bi-racial so they’re cool with it. They ask her if she’s physically attracted to Flav and she doesn’t have a connection yet but wants to see where it will go. If you ask me she sounds kinda like Ice Luscious d- All that she knows about Flav is what she’s seen on the previous seasons of Flavor of Love.
Tree-She’s comes down covered in a blanket, stuff in her hair, and whispering. She’s asked if she’s attracted to Flav and she goes into this long drawn out speech about wrinkles and eyes and soul and no one knows what she’s talking about. Seezinz feels that they should give immunity to whomever is the least threat. The other girls feel they should be fair and give it to the girl that they think is best for Flav. Who gets immunity? Black.
Flav invites her to his room and gets all romanitcal with her. He puts his crispy sweet black moves on her and she ends up tonguing him down.
The next morning Hotlanta is runnin’ her mouth about how she doesn’t think he’s a strong man for her because he didn’t stand up for her. She also points out that she’s not lookin’ for money from him and that he’s not rich. “He’s got seven kids! Do you know how much child support that is?! This isn’t even his house. I’ve kept my mouth shut for a long time but tonight I'm goin off!”

Solo Date: Kiss the Sky
Flav takes Sinceer up in a plane. She’s afraid of heights but seems to be enjoying herself. Flav says, “As the air is blowin through her hair weave I was genuinely feelin her.” Just then the plane starts to go down cus flav pushed the emergency fuel cut off . The pilot instructs him to pull a lever and they go back to kissing above the clouds. Back home Flav does some one on ones. First up is Luscious D. He asks her if she wants kida because he wants three more. She tells him that her pets are her kids and he hates pets. When it’s time for Tree’s one on one she asks Hotlanta to join her. She tells Flav what Hotlanta said about him not being rich and the house not being his blah, blah, blah. Flav talks to the other girls who were there to find out the truth. Flav sets things straight by bringin’ out his money stacks and saying that for the time being this is his house.
They confirm Tree’s statements and a fight erupts between Stick Thing and HoOtlanta. (This is where the "If we was on the streets she woulda got "mollywopped" up and down this mansion" statement comes from) Flav shuts it down and sends everyone to their rooms.
Hotlanta goes to talk to flav and lets him know that she doesn’t care about how much money he has. She says that she’s a real woman and if he can’t see it then he’s not a real man and doesn’t need to be with her.

Elimination:
Who’s In: He tells her she did a very courageous thing. He then calls down Luscious D and tells her that although she’s beautiful he didn’t have a connection with her so her time is up. Then he says, “I’m not broke. When it comes to my money, my house and my personal life the only one who can speak on that is me. So (Hotlanta)just come down here and take your clock. (When she gets to him he says…) Your time is up you can leave with it.” She puts on her clock and says something about trusting him and regrets. Blah Blah Blah YOU’VE BEEN SERVED!

Who’s out?: Next Time the exes come for a visit and everyone ends up cryin…EVEN FLAV!