I Love New York 2 Finale Recap

New York arrives in Jamaica (a place she describes as tropical and islandish...yes islandish) with the two surviving guys, Buddha and Tailor Made. Once they get settled the trio meets for a romantic dinner. She asks them if they love her and they both (yes, Buddha too) say yes. Tailor Made is nervous about the "Jedhi mind tricks" Buddha seems to be playing on New York with his mysterious (and by mysterious I mean crazy) gaze. When asked if they are the perfect man for New York, Buddha says something about zest (awesome word btw) and passion and ends with "I say emphatically, 'Hell Yea!'" Tailor Made gives some rambling answer. I couldn't listen cus I was embarrassed for him and I couldn't look at the screen cus I was blinded by the shine peeking through his hair plugs.

After dinner New York is going to retire to her room and Tailor made tries to steal some extra time with New York by telling her he got her a present. Once they're alone he reveals that there is nothing in the box and he just wanted a chance to be alone with her. She thinks it's sweet, conniving...and risky cus she "coulda sent his ass flyin' down the stairs." They go to the beach to canoodle for a bit while Buddha sits in the room brooding...he calls Tailor Made a "spineless amoeba". Yo, I haven't heard or used...or struggled spelling the word amoeba since 9th grade bio. Anywayz...

Buddha's All-Day Date

Buddha's looking forward to kissing and hugging and humping each other. Ilk!

This shot confuses me. On the one hand I'm mildly excited. On the other hand his booty looks a little like a girl's. I feel weird inside....

Moving right along, he shows up for their date wearing this ridiculous umbrella hat (**heart breaks). They go to a plantation (funny, I know) and have to take horses through the water to get to their lunch destination. New York, who's deathly afraid of horses, thinks she's going to drown and acts quite a fool before Buddha can convince her to get on the horse. Once at they get to lunch New York says that she is so happy to have her "beautiful, sexy, tiny feet back on earth".

Meanwhile back at the bat cave, Tailor Made is stressin' out; praying and whimpering and whatnot when none other than Sister Patterson shows up. She tells him she's on his side and prays with him. She asks him to call on his German ancestors and descendants (yea, think about that one for a sec) for strength, power, nobility, and then all of a sudden SMACK! SMACK!

That single scene made the whole season. I had to race to the bathroom cus I squirted...sighs. So Talor Made says he's ready to go to war for New York and Sister Patterson leaves knowing she "changed his life!"

At dinner with Buddha New York reminds him of an earlier statement he made that it's impossible to fall in love in 3 weeks...yet he told her yesterday that he loved her. He tells her that he loves her but isn't in love with her. According to him, being in love with someone is a sacrificial love. It means you love someone more than you love yourself and he can't be in love with someone who doesn't trust him. Well that statement sends them back into their "Go! Stay! Go! Stay! Go! Stay!" Step 'N Fetchit routine. In the end he comes back after walking off for 2.5 seconds and engages in some more of his Jedhi mind tricks. He's convinced that if he spends the night with New York Tailor Made will definitely go home. Awfully confident in your bedding skills, eh Buddha?

Tailor Made's All-Day Date

They go to Rick's Cafe where there's cliff diving. New York is definitely not going but Tailor Made, in efforts to prove himself and step it up, says he'll jump. I'm actually kinda proud of him. I mean i think jumping off really high things is silly (you could die for heaven's sake) but at least he wasn't crying and being all wussy about it. New York thinks he's becoming more manly because of her. Lo thinks New York has his ballitos wrapped up tight her her knock off Dooney & Burke.

Sister Patterson pays Buddha a visit and questions him about his temper. She says that she sees another person in him trying to get out. He tells her that there are things that you can restrain in yourself but they'll never die.

Therapist Lo's assessment: New York, one day, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but one day Buddha is gonna whoop yer tail. Run bitch! Run!

At dinner Tailor Made lays it on the line and pulls out another box. This time it's not empty. It's got an engagement ring inside! He proposes. New York is at a loss for words. She knows she can't say yes just yet but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Then she remembers he's still married. Yes! An out! She lets him know she can't say yes yet...and then runs off. Yes, she literally ran away...got in the limo...and went back to her room. Tailor Made sat there demolishing drinks...so sad, so sad.

Elimination

New York doesn't know what to do. While she finds Buddha smart and sexy and feels he's learning to respect her, she sees Tailor Made as caring and sensitive. She wishes she could blend the two. Sister Paterson has a few parting words, "One man deserves you. One man doesn't. May the best man win." (Exit stage left)

New York talks about the attributes and downfalls of both men. Then she pulls out the ring Tailor Made gave her. She asks Buddha if he's in love with her. Not knowing what's going on, what to do, and (I assume) wanting to win, he says "As much as I wanna say no, I am". She then turns to Tailor Made and although she won't accept his proposal she lets him know that it was a gesture displaying his commitment to her.

Who's in? Who's out?

New York tells Buddha that she's going to feed him one of the lines he feed her: I love you. But I'm not in love with you. A touch dramatic but whatevs. So yea, Tailor Made won. Are any of you snoring yet? Quite possibly the most anti-climactic ending ever. Actually, the episode, though draining, was pretty borific. Well, except for the smack. That, my friends, was awesome. Can't wait for the reunion show y'all. I've read a few spoilers and it's supposed to be a real doozie. Until next time...