A Spears Get's Hitched!

Brit’s other brother Bryan just got hitched on New Year’s Eve to his youngest sister, Jaime Lynn’s, manager. A source told People, "It was beautiful. It was only close family, very small and intimate."
"The family was totally excited," a friend of the family tells PEOPLE. "Graciella's (Sanchez) wonderful. Everybody was happy about it." Source
It’s taking all my power to NOT use the term “Dirty Sanchez” to describe this union. I’m really trying to turn over a new leaf this year.

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Jamie Lynn Had Plastic Surgery While Pregnant

Star Magazine is reporting that Jamie Lynn underwent some type of plastic surgery while she was pregnant after noticing she’d gained a few pounds.
“She didn’t know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure,” a second source reveals. “Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient.”
Her mother is supposedly worried that the procedure might have long-term affects on Baby Maddie. Source
Whether she knew she was preggers or not, NO 16-year-old should be having plastic surgery.

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Jaime Lynn Married Before Years End

According to OK! Magazine Jamie Lynn is planning her wedding which will be before the end of the year.
Despite their worldwide notoriety, the young couple won’t be swapping their vows at some 5-star celeb-filled resort, but will be sticking close to home. Jamie Lynn’s new house is in Liberty, Miss. — just 30 minutes from her mom Lynne Spears’ house, Serenity, in Kentwood, La. — and it sits on three acres, which is more than enough space to put up a tent for a private, late fall ceremony. Source
She doesn’t seem to realize that this isn’t like playing house…it's real life. Slow it down sister!

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Jamie Lynn Has Popped!

The National Enquirer is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears is going to be induced and will undergo a C-section today. Apparently her unborn daughter appeared to be breach in a recent sonogram so doctors are concerned. Source
In addition to a new baby, a wedding is on the horizon for Jamie Lynn and her fiancé, Casey. Life & Style is saying that her father Jamie may give consent for her to get married before she turns 18. If all goes according to plan Jamie Lynn will be getting married “six to eight weeks after the baby comes.” Source
I guess congrats are in order?

Jamie Lynn's Got a Gig

Jaime Lynn Spears will be on the small screen again playing a part in he new ABC show Miss/Guided. She is reportedly playing the part of a girl named Mandy who has just been accepted to college. However, she’s later convinced by a substitute Spanish teacher (played by Ashton Kutcher) to not go. Source

Wait, when was his taped? Was she showing by then? Are they going to write her pregnancy into the plot? I guess I'll have to watch to find out. I'm kinda proud of her. Mama Lo always says that you should try your best to make the most of a fucked up, er, shitty, er, um, not so great situation. And tat lil' Jamie Lynn is sure givin' it a go!

Jamie Lynn Passes Her GED Exam

A friend of the family revealed that Jamie Lynn passed her GED about a month ago and is now thinking about going to college.
“She’s already got her diploma,” according to the friend. “She wants to take her ACT. She’s not wasting any time. People don’t know her. When she gets something in her head, she’ll make it happen. Everybody is so supportive of her.” Source
Well, good for her. I wonder what school she's interested in? Capri? Devry?...Clown College. Whatever her choice is Lo wishes her good luck!
In other Jamie Lynn news, Lil’ Romeo is denying that he is the father of her baby. Source

Jamie's Not Ready to Reveal the Bump

According to Star magazine Jaime Lynn Spears is trying to hide her baby bump from the world. “Jamie Lynn has been wrapping two-inch-wide Ace bandages tightly around her stomach to hide her bump,” an insider told Star.
That’s a result of what another source called Jamie Lynn’s “severe body-image issues” brought on by her sudden change from “cute little TV star” to pregnant teen. “Now she sees herself ballooning — and she can't handle it.” Source
What is wrong with her!? That baby can’t breathe in there like that. Being pregnant is the only time when it’s ok to NOT suck in. Enjoy it! Release thy child from thy murderous binds! (Lo excuses herself to make two phone calls…one to the Monday Night Prayer Group and the other to the department of Youth and Family Services.)

JAIME LYNN IS KNOCKED UP!

As most of you kno,w yesterday news broke that Jaime Lynn Spears, Brit’s 16-year-old sister, is knocked up. Before I get into the details I must tell you how I came upon this news. My homie Jenn hits me up last night…late last night…to empty all the juicy details into my voicemail. Thanks Jenn. Then this morning as I was in quite possibly the deepest sleep ever, my sister calls me. I groggily looked at the phone then put it back down cus I don’t answer the phone before 9am. But then I figured it might be something importante, especially since my Jael has been in and out of the hospital with her asthma. But alas, my baby was fine. Dee was just calling me to tell me that I need to update the Manifesto ASAP. Jeez Louise! Let me rest! J/K I love getting kibble like this from you guys. Anyway, OK so here goes…In today’s OK magazine Jamie Lynn Spears and her mother Lynn reveal that Jaime is 12 weeks pregnant with her boyfriend's (19-year-old Casey Aldridge) baby. DON! DON! DOOOOOOON! Apparently she met him through church. Ha! So much for keepin’ yer legs locked fer Jesus. Source

When I first heard this I thought it was a hoax (I should have known better that Jenny would do her homework). But when we really think about it, what’s so damn shocking? Not only was this little girl living with her boyfriend but she’s got Spears blood flowing all up and in her veins.

(2 horny teens + inbred stupidity = two lines, not one)

It was only a matter of time before she either got pregnant, did a stint in rehab, released a sex tape or married her cousin. Sad thing is that I kinda think that she’ll be a better mom than Britney…although it doesn’t take much to be a better mom than Britney.
In other Spears News…

Mama Lynn's parenting book project has been scrapped for now. The book was supposed to be about what its like for Lynn to raise two famous kids. According to People Magazine:
"The book is delayed indefinitely. It's delayed, not cancelled," says a spokeswoman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. Source
And by indefinitely they mean forever. When Brit went all wacko on us I thought, well that lil Jaime Lynn seems to have some sense and a good head on her shoulders so lets not blame the mama just yet. But now…well, I guess its ok to call Lynne a horrible horrible horrible mother. I’m surprised she didn’t eat her children when they were babies. Actually, they would have been better off. It's a sad day when we must admit that canibalism is the answer.