Work for Sean John Diddy Puffy Papa Poopie Doo

Here we go again. Diddy will have yet one more show on the air, as if Making of the Band 44 1/3 wasn’t enough.

VH1 is producing a new reality television show that will track 20 finalists as they compete to land the job of a lifetime: Personal Assistant to Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. We are conducting a nationwide search to find the right candidates. Whether you call him P. Diddy, Puffy, or Sean Combs, now is your chance to call this legend of hip-hop…”My Boss.” Work For P. Diddy

I don’t care HOW much you paid me; there is no way in holy hell that I would work for this man. He’s not only narcissistic but suffers from a nasty case of megalomania (sorry for the SAT words but I try to use at least one a day). In short, he’s a douche. If he treats his baby mamas and artists the way he does there will be no mercy on a lowly assistant. I can just see the job description now:

• Coordinates and at times carries out daily butt cheek tickling, pedicure, and lip gloss application for Mr. Combs.
• Implements creative solutions for averting child support payments.
• Serves as a liaison between Mr. Combs and the little people.
• Occasionally assists in bitch slapping all of Mr. Combs’s employees…including yourself.
• Light lifting is necessary. Mr. Combs requires that a mirror be held in front of his face at all times. Walking backwards while holding said mirror, telling him he’s one sexy beast and not bumping into anything is a MUST. Practice at home before applying.
• Please note: You will be expected to cover all of your own expenses. This includes but is not limited to food, transportation, oh, and um, your paycheck.