Amy May Have to Undergo Drug Testing B4 Hitting Up the Grammys

Amy Winehouse will have to take a drug test before performing on next month’s Grammys…that is if they even happen. She isn’t being asked by the Grammy folks to be tested. That would just be absurd. The problem is that in order for her to obtain a work visa for the event she’ll have to prove she’s clean.
In addition to a possible performance Amz is nominated for six awards: Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Female Vocal Performance and Best Pop Vocal Album. Source
I would love to see Amy not only win big at the Awards but put on a strong show. Let’s pray for an end to the writers strike so the show goes on and pray for Amy to lock it up.

They Get High Too!

As if I needed to add anything else to my long list of why we should be weary of those winged little folks with razor sharp teeth and talons, now they smoke the wacky tobacky too! Above are pics of Midget Mac (and it looks like Mr. Wise) up in the club getting lifted. I wonder how much chronic it would take for this little guy to be down for the count. I bet it only makes his powers stronger.
This just gave me a flashback to this wee one in my town that my sister and I knew growing up who used to sling dope on the corner. He couldn’t have been more than 3 ½ feet tall but he had a tricked out Escalade formatted for specially for a midget thug and (Dee correct me if I’m wrong) he had a few shorties knocked up too. See I told you they was evil. No wonder I blocked that out.

Sly and the Family Stoned

God,…if you’re listening,…HELP! Sly, of Sly and the Family Stone, has been making some appearances as of late. Peep what Fox411 Columnist Roger Friedman had to say about Sly’s November 20th performance at B.B. Kings: "As recent observers have noted of Stone's failed comeback, needing to pee is code for drugs," wrote Friedman. "And when that happens, the show is over. As he did when I saw him on Nov. 20 at BB Kings, Stone left the stage and did not return for some time. When he did, he was clearly in a changed mental state and, yes, sleepy."The 40-minute show started an hour late, Friedman noted. Sly, on keyboards, "led the audience through a medley of one-line snippets of hits sung first on an altering voice box and then in a whisper," he writes. Wearing a white hooded track suit and sunglasses, Stone got through five of the "loosely constructed" songs before heading to the bathroom.He returned to perform "If You Want Me to Stay" and, ironically, started singing "I Want to Take You Higher" before wandering off stage for good, according to Friedman."The sold-out, standing-room-only audience was not happy," wrote Friedman. "One fan grabbed a mike and shouted, 'You crack addict. Get back on stage. I paid $100 dollars for this ticket.' It was a sad moment." [source] We need an intervention AND an exorcism! Excuse me whilst I go prepare. (Lo exits to gather her tools: holy water, hot sauce cus it always comes in handy, a chamber pot since it will probably take a while, a cassette single of “Eek-a-boo Static Automatic” which she plans on loop at triple speed, a steel bat in case he gets out of hand, and a holy roller three pack of the bible, the Koran, AND Dyanetics.)

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!

Amy Winehouse, what is you doin’? Sunday morning at 5:45am cousin Amy was photographed leaving a friends house sans shirt and shoes and looking very upset. Witnesses said that she wandered about looking dazed and confused in the freezing cold for a few minutes before going back inside. One of her reps said that she heard something and went outside to find out what it was.
God bless the little children! I hear noises outside my Brick City window every night. Do I investigate. Hell no! I live in Newark my a$$ will get shot. Annnd its cold. Nope! Eff that! The only thing that could make her do some ish like that is a speed ball and a shot of Yeiger. Or maybe she’s possessed. The way them rosary beads are wrapped around that bra strap looks like the devil was trying to choke her with it. Excuse me whilst I pray.

Puff, Puff, Pass...

Above is an alleged pic of Bobby and Whitney’s fourteen year old daughter Bobbi Christina smoking…something. I’m going to say that based on the density of the smoke, the need to take a picture of the exhalation, and what appears to be a pipe like instrument in Bobbi’s lil friend’s hand that they are not smoking a cigarette…or tobacco of any kind.
I shall not judge…nor even get upset. I mean considering her family history we can be thankful that at least it isn’t crack.

Speedballs, and Hamsters, and Crack, OH MY!

Cousin Amy is at it again. No its not drugs. It’s not drinking. It’s not spitting at fans or fighting. This time she’s taking out her troubles on lil cute furry things. She’s accused of killing a hamster. Peter Pepper of the band Palladium says that Amy killed his hamster Georgie Porgie during a night of binging. He says, ‘Georgie was a birthday present and we’d got him out to play with in the morning. 'I'd been to bed, but Amy had stayed up and was still going strong and had drunk the drink cabinet dry.'The musician said the hamster bit him and ran off so Amy said she would go and catch it.‘I was a bit suspicious when she said she was good with hamsters.By the time I came back Amy said she’d put it to bed and it was sleeping.But just hours later the hamster was stone cold and hard. I don’t know what she did to it – it was probably crack.’source.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I’m sorry y’all I shouldn’t be laughing. A poor lil furry rodent died…and at the hands of Amy Winehouse no less. But something about this story is friggin hilarious. If it was crack at least he went out high as a kite. I mean there are worse ways to die. She could have gutted him and turned him into a bong.
I suddenly feel the need to make a Richard Gere joke…but that would be disrespectful to Georgie. RIP lil furry friend.

All I Want For Christmas is My GHB!

Five children are in the hospital because of swallowing Aqua Dots beads. The Aqua Dots toys (made in china) include a bunch of beads that can be put together to create designs. You have to spray them with water to hold the design together. The beads, however, are coated wih a chemical that contains the date rape drug GHB. Prior to being pulled off shelves in the US and Austrailia the toy was on experts’ must have lists for Christmas.
Tell the DJ to pump up the music! There’s no way the bouncer will confiscate these from me. Who’s joining me for a field trip to a Canadian Toys ‘R Us?!