Random Pics

This picture will be headlining in my nightmares tonight. Thank you scary Gary Coleman.

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Wuchu In For? ‘09

1. Charles Barkley-DUI. Source
2. Antoine Walker-DUI. Source
3. Rocko-Assault. Source
4. Jason Caffey-Refusal to pay child support. Source
5. Bounty Killer-Traffic violations.
6. Chris Brown-Assualt with a deadly weapon. Source
7. Jamal Anderson-Cocaine possession. Source
8. Jermaine Jakes (Bishop T.D. Jakes’ stepson)-Indecent Exposure Source
9. Marshawn Lynch-Weapons charges Source
10. Tony Rock-DUI Source
11. Luther Campbell (Uncle Luke)-Failure to pay child support. Source
12. Coolio-Possession of crack cocaine.
13. Bebe Winans-Domestic assault. Source
14. Howard K. Stern-Conspiracy to furnish drugs. Source
15. Andre 3000-Speeding. Source
16. Donte Stallworth-DUI manslaughter. Source
17. Flesh-N-Bone-Gun possession. Source
18. Jim Jones-Outstanding warrant for an unpaid ticket.
19. Scott Storch-Grand theft auto. Source
20. Antwon Tanner-fraud
21. Lil’ Boosie-assault. Source
22. Jimmy Smith-multiple drug charges. Source
23. Crystal Taylor (Dirk Nowitzki’s GF)-Warrants and theft. Source
24. Joseph “Jojo” Simmons-Marijuanna possession. Source
25. Darius Miles (Memphis Grizzlies)-Possession of marijuana.. Source
26. Corey McIntyre (Buffalo Bills)-Exposing sexual organs. Source
27. Bubba Sparkxxx-Possession of Tranxene without a prescription. Source
28. Keita Morris (Stevie Wonder’s son)-Domestic violence.
29. Mark Morrison-Battery. Source
30. Shannon Price (Gary Coleman’s wife)-Battery.
More details… Shannon Price, the wife of former child star, Gary Coleman was booked on domestic battery and disorderly conduct charges last week. Police were called th to couple’s home and found Gary locked out of the house and Shannon ransacking the bedroom.
Officials say she "yelled and called officer 'f***er' and told officer 'f**k you and f**k him several times," according to TMZ.com.
She even admitted to what she did and told Gary "you deserve this after how you treated me."
She was released on $1,205 bond. Source
Jeez Louise, leave the little fella alone!

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Random Pics

Really Mickey Rourke? It’s rude to be this creepy looking. Knock it off.
He is not of this world. Get the kids…hide in the cellar…pray for Jesus to take you up in the rapture.
I think I just got a yeast infection from just looking at this pic. This might possibly be the gayest picture ever. As a fag hag I want to print out a hundred copies of it and roll around in it whilst wearing a fuscia boa and playin Cher’s greatest hits. Who’s feet? Why am I not surprised?
Xtina…I’ve been counseling you for quite some time now on how to upgrade your appearance and apparently you’re not listening. I guess I must call in the big dawgs. Jesus, Yea, we got a live one down here. Take the wheel, scour it with some Ponds pads and drive her to a nuclear plant to soak this mess off her face with something industrial.

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Gary Pleads No Contest...Wears a Ski Bib

Gary Coleman walked into a courthouse this week and pled no contest to disorderly conduct, and reckless driving charges stemming from an incident in a parking lot back in September. He was ordered to pay a $100. Source
But that’s not the real news. The real news is that he showed up to court dressed like this:

Soak it in…soak…soak…soak…now please discuss. That is of course after you finish laughing til snot shoots from your nose.

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Gary Coleman Runs Over a Man With His Big Wheels

Gary Coleman ran a man over with his truck after arguing with him inside a bowling ally on Saturday (September 6, 2008). Apparently the man, Colt Rushton, took pics of Coleman who was in the alley with his wife (I know, I thought they had split up too). Anyway this pissed off the Cole-Man and the argument spilled out into the lot where the Cole-Miester hopped into his truck, pulled out of his space, and hit Rushton.
Police Lt. Bill Wright stated, “We’re currently trying to sort through those issues. We’ve been able to establish there was an argument between the two, due to pictures Rushton wanted to take. He took some of Gary Coleman, and (Coleman) wasn’t happy about it.” He adds that alcohol may have been a factor. Source
Someone (like another little angry person) needs to learn to control their temper.Sorry, I must use that pic as often as possible.

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Spitsville for Garry Colman

Gary “40-year-old Virgin’ Coleman and Shannon “Big Gums” Price are headed to Divorce Court…yea, like the show:
Today on a special two-part session of Divorce Court, 80’s child star Gary Coleman and his new wife Shannon have come to Divorce Court seeking Judge Toler’s advice on their troubled marriage before it’s too late. Gary says he met Shannon on a movie set and was glad to know Shannon did not know who he was when they first met. Shannon proposed a year later after an argument. Gary is in love with Shannon and calls her his star protector. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s anger issues and blames her for anything that goes wrong and is sick of playing the blame game. Source
Every time I look at that picture I get so sad inside. I guess it’s all for the best…before any offspring could result from this doomed union.

Gary's Coleman's a Violent Little Cuss!

Ok so first we hear that Gary Coleman got married, and then we hear that he’s still a virgin, now we’re hearing that he’s quite violent with his new bride. When the couple spoke to Inside Edition, Shannon hinted that it wasn’t all wedded bliss. “He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction. … He’s got to damage something before his anger stops.”
The National Enquirer found a police report wherein Coleman is accused of trying to drive off with his intended halfway out the vehicle. Gary’s statement was:
“The love of my life decided that July 27 was another day to feel that I degrade her, I don’t care about her, that I don’t love her, and that I never did.” He explained to the officer, “I was going to leave permanently by driving away, but she got caught in the open passenger door. No injuries, just more frustrated and hurtful talk, with some yelling. I have learned it’s always the guy’s fault, no matter what.”
A friend of the couple warned the Enquirer, “Together, these two are a powder keg waiting to explode.” Source
See! And Y’all be talkin’ about me for being scared of midgets. I mean, he’s not a midget…but he’s close enough. They’re violent, violent creatures! I knew back when he punched that lady in the face for asking for an autograph that he was a dangerous rage filled being. Then again it could be all the pent up agression thats been building for 40 years for never making sexo sexo boinko lovin' with anyone. Either way, Shannon, get the hell outta that marriage. RUN, BITCH! RUN!

40-Year-Old Virgin

Just last week we heard that the 40-Year-Old Gary Coleman married this gummy redhead, 22-year-old Shannon Price. He met her on the set of the 2006 comedy Church Ball and was married in a secret ceremony this past August. Well Gary shared with The Insider that he’s still a virgin. He said, "It's my business, it's my issue and I really don't think it's a problem. I don't choose to be one, I just am. I have love in my heart, I have the desire; I just don't know what it is. It'll happen when it'll happen, and it'll happen for all the right reasons." Source
…silence….crickets (Lo shifts eyes back and forth and for once is at a loss of words)
(Thanks Mini D and Danny for the info!)

The Little Engine That Could

I know I've made a lot of fun of Gary Coleman, A LOT. But his day has finally arrived. The latest autographed item that he put up on eBay, a pair of Gap athletic pants, has reached a bid of $400,000. He can thank Jimmy Kimmel for that. Week before last, Jimmy placed an $80 bid on the pants. Next thing you know the bid was escalating at an alarming rate. Source
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! Go on witcha bad self Gary! Now you can afford that much needed Nivea. Actually, try some Lubriderm. Then again maybe a dermatologist is in order. On fourth though, go to the ER. I’m sure those ashy knuckles of yours are cracking and bleeding by now.

Why?!?!?!

Gary Coleman you so crazy! OK so first he was on eBay selling his autographed game cube, then he was selling his Saturn and throwing in an autographed pic of himself, now he’s selling a pair of autographed Gap athletic pants….all the while staying as ashy as a slave in a salt mine. eBay listing What’s sadder than him selling his wee little pants on eBay? The fact that the current bid is up to $132.50 and 29 people have bid on it already. What’s next? His undies? My soul can’t take this! I need to lie down with a cold compress across my brow. Excuse me.

Oh Gary...

Garry Coleman recently tried to sell his Saturn on ebay. The description reads:
What you all are looking at is The famous Gary Coleman's 2007 Saturn Sky. This Roadster is the coolest car out in the market and you can now have one with a really cool Value if you bid on this Famous one. Thank you for checking out my site please email with any Further Questions. The Winning Bidder gets a complimentary autograph from Gary Himself. Good Luck and Happy Bidding!!!! GOD BLESS!!! Also Mudflap add on is on the car. This vehicle is gently used and in excellent condition of course.
My heart just shattered into a thousand pieces. Not because he has to sell his Saturn (chuckles) for a few extra bucks, not because he calls himself and his Saturn (chuckles again) famous, and not because he’s throwing in a free autographed picture. My heart is beyond repair due to 1. the fact that he has green Crocs on and 2. the fact that even though the pic isn’t close up I can still tell that his hands are as ashy as they were a few months ago when he tried to sell his game cube on Ebay.
I hope he’s ashamed of himself.