This Just In: B2K Member Molested!

I'm not sure exactly what is going on in this tape but basically it looks like Raz B, of B2K fame along with his brother Ricky Romance are revealing that they along with some other fine young things were molested by their cousin Chris Stokes, an R&B producer and manager. What??!?!?!?! Hopefully this video will stay up long enough for y'all to check it out. I'm disturbed and upset.

Takin' a Break...

Mama Lo is takin' some much needed time off to spend time with the Brewers in MD. I'll be back on my grind Thursday. I hope that no matter what you all do in my absence that you're having an awesome time an that its good clean fun.

Be safe...for real!

-Love Lo

Coco Pic of the Day

God bless you all, EVERY BUN!

Hot Links!

• Nelly Furtado got married? Hollyscoop
• And so did Kenya More. Dotspotter
• Lil Romeo Fathered Jamie Lynn’s Baby Dlisted
• Flava Flav checks out a grandma (site NSFW). Drunken Stepfather
• JLo is grouchy as hell. Just Jared
• Borat is dead. Hollyscoop
• Why I officially can’t stand Bow Wow. Rhymes With Snitch

Random Pics

Webster looks like one of those obese babies on Maury that have to wear adult diapers cus the baby ones don’t fit. Sorry…it’s true. I know it’s your birthday party and you’ll do what you want to. but for the sake of all that’s true and pure pull up you pants Jaime! I wanna say something…but I’m scared Aunt Patti will find out and put roots on me. So I’ll just move on. Yea, he has a giant crayon box medallion. No words…no words… I loves me some Denzel but his swagger game has been sucking the life out of my soul lately. Put on a suit, get a haircut, and please, please, please release thy neck from the evil grips of that top button.

Real World Casts Darkies Galore

( Photos: Vevmo L to R: Britini, William, Nick, Greg and Brianna )

Well lookie here! Take a gander at five of the new cast members of the 20th season of Real World . They all didn’t start as original cast members though. Nick and Britini were added when two other cast members left. Due to this season's location all the cast members are aspiring actors, models, etc. Source

This is the first time I’ve EVER seen this many Negroes on this show. I'm excited and horrified. Please excuse me whilst I pray.

(Lo bows head in silences: Dear Lord, please don't let these black folks get on TV and make fools of themselves and the rest of the black community. Please help them refrain from engaging in ANY blackle behavior (wait, that's not possible). Ok, well please help them keep the blackle behavior to a minimum. Guide them away from all violence for their black tails will be hauled off to jail and never seen again. Silence them when they feel the urge to say "Nah mean?" or "Word life". Most importantly keep them from being filmed whilst eating fried chicken or watermelon, or teaching their non-black housemates how to do the chicken noodle soup or cupid shuffle. Thank you father.)

AAAAAAAAAAHHHMEEEEEEN!

Carlton's Got a New Boo

Alphonso Ribeiro is supposedly “Breakin’ and Poppin” porn star Ashlynn Brooke. The two have been spotted out and about around town. She says on her XXX website:

Hey y'all! Welcome to my official Web site! My name is Ashlynn Brooke and I'm 22 years old.I'm a very sensual and sexual girl, and I love sharing my pleasure with everyone. Come join me where I will show you all of my wild adventures, naughty fantasies and sexual escapades.
xo, Ashlynn
Source Young, eager, and uber friendly…sounds like a keeper to me! Way to go Carlton!
(P.S.-check out his face in the pic…he can’t believe it his damn self.)

Slim Shady's Mom is Up to Her Old Tricks

Eminem’s mom, Debbie Nelson, is at it again y’all. She’s writing a ‘tell-all’ book wherein she claims that he lied about being trailer trash and that it was all a big ploy to become a success in the rap game.
"After his first album 'Infinite' flopped, he reinvented himself as white trailer trash with a crazy welfare mom. I was shocked when I first heard the lyrics - but he constantly reassured me it was all a big joke. I went along with it for Marshall's sake."Nelson insists she is now tired of being criticised for her supposed poor parenting skills, and has written the tome to "set the record straight". Source
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, listen sugar. This is how 15 minutes of fame works: You must make sure to release all albums, movies, books, clothing lines, have crazy hook-up, babies, plastic surgeries, or engage in anything that may be considered scandalous or interesting DURING your 15 minutes of fame. You, my dear, did not utilize your time properly. Ergo we don’t care…actually, we never did. Oh, and just because I’m for making love and not war, please leave that boy alone. He IS crazy, ya know. One of these days he’s gonna turn his lyrics into a reality and merk you. So yea, knock it off please…for the sake of peace. Thanks!

The Pied Piper Gets Special Treatment

R. Kelly, or Uncle Tinkle as I affectionately call him, neglected to show up to court on Wednesday. So yesterday, a warrant was issued for his arrest but he showed up to court before the warrant could go into effect and the judge reprimanded him. Reprimanded?!! What kinda crap is that?! They’re letting him tour all over this great land of ours during the proceedings and all that they ask of him is to show up in court when he’s supposed to. But nooooooooooooooooooo! He can't even do that. Humph! Throw that nasticle blackle in jail!! Thrash him!! Burn him at the stake!! (Lo releases a guttural scream while holding up a makeshift torch compiled of discarded papers in the copy room that she rubber banded together. Then she exits in efforts to recruit coworkers to join her angry mob of one).

Ruben Gets Dropped...Timbeeeeer!

Ruben Studdard has been dropped from his contract with J Records. Each album he’s released has consistently sold considerably less than the one before it. His last album barely sold 235,000 copies. But don’t fret my pets he’ll be playing Fats Waller in a national tour of “Ain’t Misbehavin’” soon. So I guess he'll have some work at least for a little while. Source
Hey, maybe if he’s lucky he can join the cast of a stirring Arabesque film on BET. I know things aren’t looking to hot for you these days Big Rube but keep your head up. Oh and back away from that 6 foot sub and 2 liter of orange Crush. Now’s not the time to dull the pain with carbs.

You Want Me to Push it Out of WHERE?!

According to the Daily Mail Xtina is saying 'hell to the no' to having a natural birth. She’s already scheduled her c-section for January 10th. She’s facing a little bit of criticism for choosing to have a c-section instead of pushing the baby out because the c-section isn’t for medical reasons but supposedly cus she doesn’t want to deal with the pain of a vaginal birth. Source
Whatever! Tina, do you! Why push and scream and sweat and curse for hours when you don’t have to? When I have kids I hope I’m rich enough to have a planned c-section followed immediately by a tummy tuck and breast lift. I can just see it now. Lo’s on the table screaming: "No nurse I don’t need to hold the baby right this second! Clean it off for Pete’s sake! And can someone fire up the lipo machine please?! Let’s get choppin’ folks! I’ve got a spa treatment at 6pm and I simply can’t miss it! Move it! Move it! Move it! "

Hot New Couple!

I feel ill…I’ll tell you why. Lil’ Wayne announced recently that he’s going to be working with Zac Effron on a new album called High School Musical 2: Non-Stop Dance Party. But wait, that’s not all folks. Weezy’s reason for doing this is to “reach those suburban white kids like Kanye did”. So I suppose since Weezy is in touch with the white kids Zac felt extra comfortable with the darkies. According to OC Weekly during a recent visit to Wayne’s new Miami mansion Zacky-Poo greeted Wayne with “What’s up, my nigga?” then gave Wayne a pound, a hug, and a full-on kiss. [source via Dlisted] There aren’t any pics but I think it’s safe to assume that by full-on they mean full on the lips.
Hmm, ….hmmm…not really sure what to say exactly except that Baby better keep an eye on this situation cus if he’s not paying attention Zac’s gonna steal his boo. I mean he’s WAY prettier than Baby. Shoot he’s prettier than most women…myself included. Sighs…Yea this pic NEVER gets old.

Make Room for the Big Girls

Queen Latifah has signed on as the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig.The VP of marketing for Jenny Craig released the following statement:
"We officially confirm that Queen Latifah will join the Jenny Craig program in January," Scott Parker, Jenny Craig's vice president of marketing, tells PEOPLE. "We are thrilled to have Queen Latifah support our mission of improving health by taking her first step toward achieving a more healthful lifestyle."
Jenny Craig has had famous spokes people like Kirstie Alley, Valarie Bertinelli, and Kimberly Locke, and now Big Tifah is takin a shot at it. I wonder if while doing ads for Jenny she’s going to continue to do voice overs for Pizza Hut? Muy interesante, no?

Video of the Day

I know I just posted a video but eff it! It's Friday and I felt like it! Anyway this is a clip from The Today Show. Mary J. Blige is performing and in the background is none other than anchor David Gregory (who, btw, is like 8 feet tall) bustin' a move. I saw not one...but TWO twirls. I love everything about this video. Well, except for the fact that it could have been longer and I think David needed more camera time. Like, I just know he was about two twirks away from doing the crybaby or the dutty wine.

Video of the Day

The baby in this video is seriously the cutest ever! So cute I wish he were mine. I wanna kidnap him and take him on a tour of the country doing his "evil eye". Man, if he were mine I'd love 'im, 'n hug 'im, 'n kiss 'im, 'n squeeze 'im, 'n shake 'im when he's bad, 'n...er, um, I mean. Oh just watch the video. It's sure to put a smile on your face.
(Thanks for forwarding this vid to me Pabz!)

Coco Pic of the Day

Question: Who in their right mind would wear an outfit like that outside of the confines and privacy of their home?

Answer: Someone who's built like a brick house. Now shut your filthy hating mouth!

Gabby's Gettin' Gabby again

Gabrielle Union has been biting back against black blogs lately…apparently she doesn’t have anything better to do like make yet another crappy movie. Anyway, in a recent Vibe interview she said:
“If you look at what Perez [Hilton] does - and I don’t advocate for Perez, you know, he can write hurtful things about a lot of people - but what he does as a man of color, as a Latino, is he never dogs Latinos, ever. He actually breaks artists on his website. They can go from “Who the hell is that?” to Number One on iTunes in a day, just from what he says. So he’s trying to uplift his own people. I mean, he dogs everybody else, but as a man of color, I applaud you. I can’t dog you for not dogging your own people. He never says anything negative about Latinos, ever, and I just wish that we had more of that kind of “raise up” mentality and pulled each other up instead of dragging each other down. Especially like… If I got arrested, say whatever you want to say. If I had kids and left them in the car while I partied, or I got out of cabs showing all my private parts, you have every right to dog me. If I came out and dogged my own people, kill me in your blogs. But don’t make things up! I do enough, and if you really got spies everywhere you’d know what I was doing, you wouldn’t have to make things up. And if you don’t know your facts, then just don’t print them.”
Oh Gabby shut up! The only reason people even know who you are is because of bloggy gossip. And since you’re all about people getting their facts straight maybe you try it yourself before opening your mouth. Last time I checked Perez slams EVERYONE! A day doesn’t pass where he’s not flappin' his gums about Eva Longoria, Ricky Martin, Jennifer Lopez, or her husband Skelator, er, I mean Marc Anthony.
And another thing! Since when is Perez a man of color? He’s about the palest thing I’ve laid eyes on in my life. Just because someone may be part of a minority does not make them a person of color. Get out of my sight and go read a book or something. You make me sick!

Is it Still Good to Ya!?

Sheer materials are generally not OK for anyone. But they are especially not OK if you’re Ashford and Simpson. Uncle Nick I can see your nips…and wait a minute! Aunt Val I can see yours too!
Man, back in the day Ashford and Simpson used to remind me of my parents. That was of course back when the Great Reverend Doctor had a jheri curl and Patty Boo donned the illest Negra mullet ever. But these two can no longer serve as my pretend celebrity mom and dad. Cus as crazy as my parents are, they would NEVER, EVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER engage in any tomfoolery like this. Excuse me whilst I go get a cold compress for my brow. I’m feeling a little peaked.

Amy's at it Again

Amy got thrown in the clink on yesterday on suspicion of attempting to interfere with a court case involving her hubby Blake. source
Awesome! She needs to be locked up. It’s for her own good. If she keeps up at the pace she’s going she’s not going to make it to her next birthday. Mark my words! Cousin Amy, knock it off!

Priceless!

A woman named Jamie Robers is claiming that Damon Dash caused her to go loco and is suing him for $30,000. She says that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia after meeting Dash at a Miami club in March of 2004. She says he went by the name of Jeremy MacIntire and took her to a marina close to the club where he showed her his “genital area” in an “offensive manner” then tried to get her to perform oral sex on him. But, but but, but, wait! It gets worse! She adds that 9 months after the encounter she “began to hear defendant’s voice in her ear, giving her certain directions to follow.” The suit says she discovered McIntyre’s true identity in early 2005 “while watching a taping of the “Dave Chapelle Show.” Source
Yo, this broad is soooo 730 right about now (Like my hood speak?). Don’t worry Jesus, I got this one. Instead of entertaining her we shall give her a nice cocktail of haldol, thorazine, and seroquel and send her on her happy way. The end.

Go Pick up an EPT Ladies Cus There's Somethin' in the Water

Lilly Allen is knocked up too! Holy my goodness (Lo burries her head in her hands for a moment of silence). The 22-year old is preggers with boyfriend Ed Simons’s baby. Simons, a member of The Chemical Brothers and whom she’s been dating for only three months, is 15 years hers senior.
A source said: “Lily is thrilled to be pregnant and can’t wait to become a mum. She’s a real family person. Ed’s very happy. He is really looking after her.” Source
Hmm, well Lilly’s had a pretty rough path. Let’s hope she can lock it up and be a good mum.

American Gay-diators?

So remember how I told you guys a little while ago that there was going to be a new version of American Gladiator? Well it's just come out (no pun intended) that one of the Gladiators, Militia (nee Alex Castro), used to be a gay porn star under the name Elian Cortez. Colt studios, his former employer, released this little tidbit of information.
I don't know about you but this makes a lot of sense to me. I think it’s a very natural career progression. Both jobs seem to hold relatively similar duties. I mean in his new job he gets to dress up in teeny metallic clothes almost like a superhero (omg the G on his utility belt is KILLING me right now) and tussle with men in front of the cameras (after oirling up of course). IN his old job he…well, maybe if we add chaps and some lip gloss and…actually, I’m not going down that road. Use your imagination. Anywayz, congrats Militia! You can bet your hot pants I’ll be watching you!

I'd First Like to Thank My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Foxy Brown is joining many other celebrity inmates that came before her who have seemingly found God while in the clink. She recently showed up to court looking and acting a lot more subdued than normal. She said to her attorney:
"Sometimes God has to humble you in order for you to realize who you actually are. When you get away from the glitz and glamour, you can find inner peace within yourself.” Source
Interesting. I wonder what it was that drove her to God. Could it have been the late night cavity searches by Big Bertha? The shank made out of a spork that was held to her neck until she shared her last pack of yaki straight #24? I guess well never know. But $5 says that she’ll be back to her royal cuntness in no time.

JAIME LYNN IS KNOCKED UP!

As most of you kno,w yesterday news broke that Jaime Lynn Spears, Brit’s 16-year-old sister, is knocked up. Before I get into the details I must tell you how I came upon this news. My homie Jenn hits me up last night…late last night…to empty all the juicy details into my voicemail. Thanks Jenn. Then this morning as I was in quite possibly the deepest sleep ever, my sister calls me. I groggily looked at the phone then put it back down cus I don’t answer the phone before 9am. But then I figured it might be something importante, especially since my Jael has been in and out of the hospital with her asthma. But alas, my baby was fine. Dee was just calling me to tell me that I need to update the Manifesto ASAP. Jeez Louise! Let me rest! J/K I love getting kibble like this from you guys. Anyway, OK so here goes…In today’s OK magazine Jamie Lynn Spears and her mother Lynn reveal that Jaime is 12 weeks pregnant with her boyfriend's (19-year-old Casey Aldridge) baby. DON! DON! DOOOOOOON! Apparently she met him through church. Ha! So much for keepin’ yer legs locked fer Jesus. Source

When I first heard this I thought it was a hoax (I should have known better that Jenny would do her homework). But when we really think about it, what’s so damn shocking? Not only was this little girl living with her boyfriend but she’s got Spears blood flowing all up and in her veins.

(2 horny teens + inbred stupidity = two lines, not one)

It was only a matter of time before she either got pregnant, did a stint in rehab, released a sex tape or married her cousin. Sad thing is that I kinda think that she’ll be a better mom than Britney…although it doesn’t take much to be a better mom than Britney.
In other Spears News…

Mama Lynn's parenting book project has been scrapped for now. The book was supposed to be about what its like for Lynn to raise two famous kids. According to People Magazine:
"The book is delayed indefinitely. It's delayed, not cancelled," says a spokeswoman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. Source
And by indefinitely they mean forever. When Brit went all wacko on us I thought, well that lil Jaime Lynn seems to have some sense and a good head on her shoulders so lets not blame the mama just yet. But now…well, I guess its ok to call Lynne a horrible horrible horrible mother. I’m surprised she didn’t eat her children when they were babies. Actually, they would have been better off. It's a sad day when we must admit that canibalism is the answer.

Coco Pic of the Day

You know, I've never been a big fan of lace...but since you put it that way...

I Love New York 2 Finale Recap

New York arrives in Jamaica (a place she describes as tropical and islandish...yes islandish) with the two surviving guys, Buddha and Tailor Made. Once they get settled the trio meets for a romantic dinner. She asks them if they love her and they both (yes, Buddha too) say yes. Tailor Made is nervous about the "Jedhi mind tricks" Buddha seems to be playing on New York with his mysterious (and by mysterious I mean crazy) gaze. When asked if they are the perfect man for New York, Buddha says something about zest (awesome word btw) and passion and ends with "I say emphatically, 'Hell Yea!'" Tailor Made gives some rambling answer. I couldn't listen cus I was embarrassed for him and I couldn't look at the screen cus I was blinded by the shine peeking through his hair plugs.

After dinner New York is going to retire to her room and Tailor made tries to steal some extra time with New York by telling her he got her a present. Once they're alone he reveals that there is nothing in the box and he just wanted a chance to be alone with her. She thinks it's sweet, conniving...and risky cus she "coulda sent his ass flyin' down the stairs." They go to the beach to canoodle for a bit while Buddha sits in the room brooding...he calls Tailor Made a "spineless amoeba". Yo, I haven't heard or used...or struggled spelling the word amoeba since 9th grade bio. Anywayz...

Buddha's All-Day Date

Buddha's looking forward to kissing and hugging and humping each other. Ilk!

This shot confuses me. On the one hand I'm mildly excited. On the other hand his booty looks a little like a girl's. I feel weird inside....

Moving right along, he shows up for their date wearing this ridiculous umbrella hat (**heart breaks). They go to a plantation (funny, I know) and have to take horses through the water to get to their lunch destination. New York, who's deathly afraid of horses, thinks she's going to drown and acts quite a fool before Buddha can convince her to get on the horse. Once at they get to lunch New York says that she is so happy to have her "beautiful, sexy, tiny feet back on earth".

Meanwhile back at the bat cave, Tailor Made is stressin' out; praying and whimpering and whatnot when none other than Sister Patterson shows up. She tells him she's on his side and prays with him. She asks him to call on his German ancestors and descendants (yea, think about that one for a sec) for strength, power, nobility, and then all of a sudden SMACK! SMACK!

That single scene made the whole season. I had to race to the bathroom cus I squirted...sighs. So Talor Made says he's ready to go to war for New York and Sister Patterson leaves knowing she "changed his life!"

At dinner with Buddha New York reminds him of an earlier statement he made that it's impossible to fall in love in 3 weeks...yet he told her yesterday that he loved her. He tells her that he loves her but isn't in love with her. According to him, being in love with someone is a sacrificial love. It means you love someone more than you love yourself and he can't be in love with someone who doesn't trust him. Well that statement sends them back into their "Go! Stay! Go! Stay! Go! Stay!" Step 'N Fetchit routine. In the end he comes back after walking off for 2.5 seconds and engages in some more of his Jedhi mind tricks. He's convinced that if he spends the night with New York Tailor Made will definitely go home. Awfully confident in your bedding skills, eh Buddha?

Tailor Made's All-Day Date

They go to Rick's Cafe where there's cliff diving. New York is definitely not going but Tailor Made, in efforts to prove himself and step it up, says he'll jump. I'm actually kinda proud of him. I mean i think jumping off really high things is silly (you could die for heaven's sake) but at least he wasn't crying and being all wussy about it. New York thinks he's becoming more manly because of her. Lo thinks New York has his ballitos wrapped up tight her her knock off Dooney & Burke.

Sister Patterson pays Buddha a visit and questions him about his temper. She says that she sees another person in him trying to get out. He tells her that there are things that you can restrain in yourself but they'll never die.

Therapist Lo's assessment: New York, one day, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but one day Buddha is gonna whoop yer tail. Run bitch! Run!

At dinner Tailor Made lays it on the line and pulls out another box. This time it's not empty. It's got an engagement ring inside! He proposes. New York is at a loss for words. She knows she can't say yes just yet but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Then she remembers he's still married. Yes! An out! She lets him know she can't say yes yet...and then runs off. Yes, she literally ran away...got in the limo...and went back to her room. Tailor Made sat there demolishing drinks...so sad, so sad.

Elimination

New York doesn't know what to do. While she finds Buddha smart and sexy and feels he's learning to respect her, she sees Tailor Made as caring and sensitive. She wishes she could blend the two. Sister Paterson has a few parting words, "One man deserves you. One man doesn't. May the best man win." (Exit stage left)

New York talks about the attributes and downfalls of both men. Then she pulls out the ring Tailor Made gave her. She asks Buddha if he's in love with her. Not knowing what's going on, what to do, and (I assume) wanting to win, he says "As much as I wanna say no, I am". She then turns to Tailor Made and although she won't accept his proposal she lets him know that it was a gesture displaying his commitment to her.

Who's in? Who's out?

New York tells Buddha that she's going to feed him one of the lines he feed her: I love you. But I'm not in love with you. A touch dramatic but whatevs. So yea, Tailor Made won. Are any of you snoring yet? Quite possibly the most anti-climactic ending ever. Actually, the episode, though draining, was pretty borific. Well, except for the smack. That, my friends, was awesome. Can't wait for the reunion show y'all. I've read a few spoilers and it's supposed to be a real doozie. Until next time...

Coco Pic of the Day

And here's another thing I like about Coco...there's no pretense. She just cuts to the chase. Gotta respect that.